About a quarter of a mile before Camp Hagan, there is this amazing bend in the road where the sun slants diagonally down through the trees and the sense of enchantment captures my entire being. No matter how overgrown and wild this place has become, this is my marker. It has always said to me: welcome home to your sacred space.
Camp Hagan was my summer camp for a relatively brief period in my life—1962-1967. That those six summers in that place could have such an impact speaks volumes to what happened there and to who was there. Oddly, many of those memories are not particularly happy ones. This was a place where I had failures, disappointments and became aware of my many shortcomings. It was also a place where I learned to deal with those things, gained confidence, made life-long friendships, connected to the marvels of nature, and strengthened my faith in God.
I came to camp as a twelve year old with two friends from home. In hindsight, that may not have been the wisest choice; I loved having my close friends in my cabin, but it probably did limit the other friendships that I could have made. What I loved most about camp that first year was the beauty of the place. This campus was sandwiched between two mountains and a beautiful river. The cabins were flanked by pine trees and everything was green. The stars at night would convince anyone that heaven exists. I loved following the daily schedule and having classes and activities for most of the day. In my free time I choreographed the musical and was surprised at the end of session campfire when I was presented the Entertainment Award. After this positive experience in Senior One, I knew I would return.
I returned as a camper in Senior 4, 5 and 7, and in 1966 I was a CIT. By this time I had made many special friendships at camp and most of those friends became my fellow CITs. One of the activities that I did in 1966 was to take Senior Lifesaving with Robyn Ruth, the Head of Aquatics.
I was on the swim team at school and my mother was a swimming teacher and my coach, so naturally I wanted to be a certified life guard. I found everything about the course to be fascinating and was thrilled when Robyn told me that I scored the highest grade on the written exam in her many years of teaching the course. But then there was the practical exam.
On my first try, I failed the test because I failed to heed the Throw, Row, Tow, Go. Robyn was drowning and in I went at full speed to rescue her. Never thought about tossing that ring buoy! So-I had a second chance. I was called to the waterfront and there Robyn was—drowning again. I threw that ring buoy and she went under. Now she’s unconscious, so I have to dive in and execute the proper carry to get her up onto the floating dock. After fighting the river current, I manage to haul her onto the dock. And then, she needs CPR. So-I did the back pressure arm lift which was the first method that we had been taught. Surely she didn’t expect me to do mouth-to-mouth??? Wrong again, Barbara. Well-there was no third chance. I was crushed. I had spent all summer working toward this goal, and I had failed. Everyone else who had taken the water exam had passed. I was by far the strongest swimmer and knew my stuff, but in the end it didn’t matter. That fall I took lifesaving at school and returned to Hagan the following year with my certification. In subsequent years I became a Water Safety Instructor and taught Life Saving at a township pool. I learned that failure, though certainly humbling and painful, is not necessarily an ending. I have learned that lesson time and again. Failure has been a great motivator enabling me to find some new path or opportunity that I probably would not have found had failure not opened that door.
As I mentioned earlier, the beauty of Hagan has nurtured my love of nature throughout my life. I still hike in the Pocono Mountains, walk along the Freeman Tract, paddle down the Delaware, sit by campfires and lose myself in the starry heavens. How very lucky for me that the choice of a summer camp in 1962 has led to a lifelong love affair. I have taken my daughters, my extended family and my friends on hikes and canoe trips. For a number of years, I had a vacation home in Marshalls Creek which reconnected me to Hagan. And I never miss a Hagan reunion and the opportunity to share memories of summers past and to create new memories in our Golden years.
What I feel when I am here is a sense of peace, a sense of belonging, and a strong connection to the Creator. I feel comfort, I feel well-being, and I feel like my most authentic self. The material world has never existed in this place which is one of greatest gifts that Hagan gave to girls who slept in cabins without electricity and wore matching uniforms. How liberating!
One day my ashes will be sprinkled in the Outdoor Chapel and my connection to this land will be complete. If children or grandchildren ever want to commune with me here, I hope that they will pause for a minute at the lovely bend on River Road and enter this sacred space with reverence.
